N - Love Does Needs

Hangry. Most of us have experienced being Hangry - feeling grumpy, or even outright angry and not sure why only to realize after a snack or a meal how much better we feel. And many of us probably know the brain fog that comes after pulling an all-nighter. We can barely think of anything besides a nap. According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, all people - including the kids in our homes and classrooms - have basic needs that *must be met* before we can focus on higher needs like academics, creativity, and even our hobbies and interests. 

Most of us have times when we are deprived of a good night’s sleep or a meal due to unusual circumstances. But when these most basic needs frequently go unmet, or there is uncertainty surrounding whether or not they will be met, people simply can not turn their focus to higher levels. What is important to realize is that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs does not stop with food and rest. While we must start here, we do not go straight from well-fed and well-rested to ready to learn. 


Once those basic physiological needs are met, we must ensure our kids feel physically safe and secure. Notice that is the kids who must feel safe. Think about a toddler who has never been away from mom and dad being dropped off at preschool. It can take some time before they feel safe in that new environment. Or consider the new driver in high school worried about making it home safely. These are just a few examples of situations where feeling safe still needs to be established.


After they feel safe, kids need opportunities to meet their social needs - with their peers and with us. This happens best in homes and classrooms where the adults foster a sense of community, work to build relationships, and allow children ample time to practice their developing social skills.


Finally, we need to create an environment in our homes and classrooms that addresses the children's need for positive self-esteem. This is accomplished as kids face and overcome challenges with encouragement and support. It is only after these needs are met that our children be able to learn academics, pursue hobbies, mature spiritually, or grow in any other area of self-actualization. 


When things go haywire with the kids, we, as loving parents and teachers, must take a step back and ask what is needed? Are they hungry, tired, bored, or cold? Has it been awhile since they connected with friends? Is their self-confidence lacking? Once we identify an area of need in one of our children, love guides us into doing what we can to meet that need and help their focus move up the pyramid. 


Image below taken from PhD in Parenting - Maslow’s Hierarchy for Children




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